


my angel, my crime

by queercarlgrimes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, Denial of Feelings, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, I love him, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, Self-Denial, because homecoming happens and then i take the MCU out back and shoot it like a lame horse, flash centric, flash is bad at feelings, mj/shuri comes later i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-01 10:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14518146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queercarlgrimes/pseuds/queercarlgrimes
Summary: flash would love nothing more than to hate him, or even just be able to write this hot swirly feeling off as jealousy, but he knows better.





	1. i know that i mean nothing to you babe

flash doesn’t remember when his thoughts on peter parker entered “crush” territory, but he knows he hates that. he wants to hate peter. he’s so quietly funny, unknowingly cute, effortlessly smart, and overall just an obnoxiously likable person. flash would love nothing more than to hate him, or even just be able to write this hot swirly feeling off as jealousy, but he knows better.

that’s also a lie. flash doesn’t know _anything_. he doesn’t know how to cope with the fact he likes a boy, how to talk, how to flirt. he didn’t go to the same schools as peter before- his dad sent him to some rich private middle school, peter went to public schools. freshman initiation at midtown tech was the first time flash saw peter, and he wanted to be peter’s friend. peter didn’t really hang out with many people outside of decathalon, just some chubby guy named ned, and they always talked about star wars. flash liked star wars too, but he just didn’t know how to talk to them.

there was one thing flash knew how to do. in his old private schools, he was always seen as painfully average. rich but not the richest, smart but not the smartest. it was eat or be eaten and he quickly picked up the habit of tearing others down. track and bullying, the two things he actually excelled at.

  
-

  
the first time flash made fun of peter for some stupid star wars pin on his backpack in late freshman year, the whole table laughed. peter’s eyes filled with hurt and embarrassment, but he said nothing. flash wishes peter had called him a dick or an asshole, or asked to be left alone, that would’ve felt better than that kicked puppy look that made flash want to apologize immediately. he felt bad. but he didn’t say anything.

there was one time when he very nearly said something. when peter was gone from school one day, ned came up and cornered flash outside the gym.

“i don’t even know why i’m bothering to tell you this,” ned hissed. “but peter’s uncle just died. they were really close and peter is super upset and if you say anything and make him feel worse-“

“woah, hey,” flash protested, trying to push ned away in a calm and nonthreatening manner. “are you joking? come on, i- i would never sink that low.”

ned raised his eyebrows but said nothing, and flash tried not to feel offended since he had no right to be. the thought of peter was more important right now. flash knew something was weird with parker’s parents, but he had no clue he lived with his aunt and uncle. definitely didn’t think that his uncle was near death, either.

“is... is peter gonna be okay?” flash asked slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. “like obviously this isn’t good, but—“

“why do you care?” ned asked, sounding both defensive and actually curious. flash just shrugged and looked somewhere far away that wasn’t ned. the silence was awkward and long until ned shook his head. “whatever. just don’t be a dick, alright flash?”

_of course not_ , he thought as ned walked away. peter didn’t go back to school for two days, and flash could barely stand to look at him when he did. poor peter just looked so sad, not speaking or joking around in class as usual.

flash wanted to say something, do something even; some sort of gesture for peter that might make him feel even a little bit better. unfortunately they didn’t make cards that said “sorry your uncle died. also i’m sorry i bully you all the time but i swear i don’t mean it.”

he never mentioned it or talked to peter about it, but he definitely laid off for a while. peter was the first to say something again, though flash can’t remember what. it was in english and it was actually probably an insult, but he was smiling when flash met his eyes. flash smiled back and definitely didn’t think about it for the rest of the day, and week, and whenever he was spacing out in class.

  
-

  
sophomore year wasn’t much different. flash still liked to make fun of peter, yet the two of them almost hung out, or so flash liked to think. they had a lot of the same classes and were still on decathalon together. peter was smarter than flash and flash started calling him penis parker.

there was one moment. an almost moment, a brief connection between the two teens that flash probably thought about too much. after one particularly rowdy decathlon meeting, abraham invited them over to his house for a bit. flash pretended to only consider it, but he already texted his mom that he was going to a friends house.

everyone was in the backyard under the gazebo, smiling and joking around and eating chips and guac, and flash excused himself to run inside for another soda. in the soft patio lights, peter looked truly at ease. happy. pretty. flash felt weird watching him and his mouth and his hair and his hands, so he got back to finding cups to take outside.

“jeez, flash, i thought you were fast,” a voice came from behind him, and flash turned to see that peter had entered the kitchen. “or do you like snooping around houses?”

“ha ha,” flash said sarcastically. “what are you looking for? abe’s kitchen is full of everything except what’s being looked for apparently, so good luck.”

peter hummed and kept looking in the pantry, muttering a quiet “aha!” and coming back out with a box of cosmic brownies. he grinned and started opening the box immediately, pulling out a pack and raising his eyebrows to flash. “split it with me?”

“sure,” _let’s get married_. they split the brownie and looked back out the window at the get together quietly.

“you know,” peter started. “i bet you act like you hate us more than you actually do.”

“oh that’s what you think?” flash scoffed, truly fighting away a grin. peter definitely noticed anyways.

“i know it,” peter insisted smugly. he elbowed flash, who elbowed him away a bit harder. it was a mess in his brain– no matter how much he wanted peter in his life, the thought of peter actually knowing how he felt was too terrifying. he tried to glare at peter but he wasn’t sure it worked because peter still had the ghost of a smile on his face.

they walked back outside and flash tried very hard to be... normal. he was nice, held back needless mean comments, he even called peter by his name. still, he could feel the others wariness, the dislike. when he drove home, he definitely didn’t think about what peter said.

  
-

  
flash learned from a young age what was okay and what wasn’t in the thompson house. it was okay to be athletic, but it wasn’t okay to get bad grades. it wasn’t okay for boys to like other boys. his dad yelled at the television when gay marriage was legalized, something about faggots that flash didn’t hear because he shut his bedroom door and turned his music up louder.

it wasn’t okay to get grades below a B, but B’s weren’t really okay either. A’s were expected, B’s were met with discontent glares and comments about laziness or lack of focus, and everything else was met with harsh words and harsher hands. in class it was easy to act nonchalant about a 79 on a test, but at home he hid his grades and avoided the topics until of course his dad found out. then there was a much higher price to pay than just a possibly lowered GPA.

he knew it wasn’t okay to talk without being talked to when his dad worked a hard day. he knew it wasn’t okay to talk about his sister celia anymore. it’s okay to use the car, because malcom knows that his sons popularity is important. it makes them look good if they look richer.

working out is always okay. flash might’ve seemed scrawny, but he worked up muscle. it helped a lot- he could play on teams more, run longer, and whenever his dad came home drunk or angry he felt less weak. he could protect his mom more.

flash didn’t like his house much.

  
-

  
one time somebody at school called flash gay. he had just thrown out his lunch and was putting his earbuds in to walk to class, when somebody shouted “hey _fag_ thompson!” for some unknown reason. people nearby laughed heartily and flash put on a sneer, ignoring the way the back of his neck began to burn.

weird girl from decathlon, michelle something, caught his eye as he walked away. she wasn’t exactly sitting with peter and ned, but they were at the same table, and the two boys were obviously pretending not to notice what just happened. michelle however was meeting his eyes with a loaded look, a cocktail of understanding and sadness and sympathy. it pissed flash off.

that afternoon at decathlon practice, michelle plopped herself in the seat next to him without a word. she pulled out her sketchbook and flipped through it for a second before smirking when she found what she was looking for.

she shoved it into his lap. “that’s you.”

he shot her a wary glare before looking down at the page and seeing that it was, in fact, a messy sketch of him. there were little hearts doodled in his eyes as he looked at something off the page.

“thanks,” he muttered. “why did you do that, you some kinda stalker?”

“i like to draw people in crisis.”

flash scoffed again. “i’m not having any kind of crisis.”

michelle snorted and flash pushed the sketchbook back at her. “are you trying to tell that to me or yourself?”

“who do you think you are?” he snapped, suddenly feeling cornered despite michelle not moving at all. “you don’t know anything, alright weirdo? so back off.”

he stormed out of the room without saying anything else, slinging his bag over his shoulder. flash wasn’t in a crisis. there wasn’t anything wrong. he had his life under control.

“flash!”

just the sound of peter’s voice set off a chain of emotion in flash’s brain, and he turned to round on peter quickly. he stepped closer and closer without noticing until peter was backed up against the lockers, looking afraid.

“what? what the hell do _you_ want?” he tried not to yell, because part of him knew this anger was misplaced. he heard peter’s converse squeak on the floor as he shifted uncomfortably.

“are- are you okay?” peter stammered. “flash, whatever is up, you—“

“nothing is up, _penis_ parker,” flash spat. hurt flashed in peter’s eyes but this time flash really was too upset to notice. “so why don’t you go bother someone else?”

peter’s eyes narrowed and he huffed, shaking his head and looking away. “fine, flash. fine. have a nice day.”

the words were cutting, and the silence of the hallway after peter pushed flash back and stormed away was deafening. flash balled his hands into fists and ran all the way to his car, leaning his head on the steering wheel to catch his breath and wipe the back of his arm over his watery eyes. he then pulled out a pen and piece of paper from his bag, staring at it hard before trying to be honest with himself.

~~1\. i am~~  
~~1\. i like~~  
~~1\. peter parker~~  
~~1\. i want~~

he cussed loudly balled up the paper and threw it out the window before driving himself home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeaaah emo part one. i love flash hes an interesting and reedeemable character yall are just too lazy to do it. gotta do everything myself around here!
> 
> title from peach by the front bottoms, but chapter name from make me your queen by declan mckenna
> 
> chap two takes place during and homecoming!!


	2. wars are raging on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “feelings? in MY me? more likely than i thought”  
> \- flash thompson probably

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gay so todays title is from rose colored boy by paramore, but a good alternate title is just “flash thompson: homecoming”

things got weirder. flash got a new secret obsession, the spiderman. the masked vigilante had gotten more and more popular, though they were just shaky youtube videos by people who managed to catch the neighborhood hero doing assorted good deeds. sometimes he wondered what it would be like to be rescued by spiderman, then quickly mentally changed the subject.

parker was still cute, but flash liked to think he was getting better at coping with that. penis parker was really catching on, though flash was pretty sure sophomores just liked saying the word “penis” at every opportunity.

and though flash wouldn’t consider himself the most observant person in the world, something seemed to be up with peter. according to michelle he quit marching band and robotics lab, but flash had only noticed how much he talked about that stupid stark internship. his absence was good for flash in the sense that maybe he was going to get over that stupid crush, and he was getting to talk in decathlon more. not that anybody but him was excited for that part.

  
-

  
“you can’t bail a week before nationals, we don’t have anyone as strong as you in physics,” liz tried to convince peter over lunch, and flash rolled his eyes to himself. peter could go live with stark at this point, for all he cared.

“you have flash!” peter insisted, catching him off guard. he glanced up to see peter looking at him hopefully, and flash felt a small surge of warmth in his stomach.

he leaned forward to look at liz around charles. “you got me!”

without hesitation, abraham spoke up and scoffed. “but everyone prefers peter.”

flash blinked and looked away, shaking his head. there was no point defending himself, especially since liz had already gone back to trying to keep peter around. it took a lot of energy to not get up and storm off, knowing he had to not care.

everyone prefers peter. stupid perfect parker. smart and polite and cute, flash would probably pick peter over himself too. peter who, after months of flash bullying him almost all the time, still tried to stick up for him. his leg began to bounce, a sign much like a teapot starting to whistle, and he told himself to relax.

this wasn’t terrible. he could deal with this.

  
-

  
malcom thompson was at work when flash got home, as was his mother, so he got some time to relax. which meant he put on shakira and made some chocolate chip eggo waffles, dancing around his kitchen. thank god for time alone.

as he belted out can’t remember to forget you, his phone buzzed obnoxiously against the counter.

  
**penis parker** : _hey flash i was thinking maybe since i won’t be going to nationals and you’d take my place maybe i could help you study physics stuff more?_

 **penis parker** : _if you want!_

 **penis parker** : _not saying you need the help that much, you’re pretty smart_

  
flash nearly threw his phone across the room. “why can’t you just hate me?” he asked out loud. “jackass!”

stupidly enough, he almost said yes. he definitely watched too many romcoms, because there was the mental image of him and peter studying together. maybe they could actually get along, maybe flash would actually learn something. peter might smile at him.

the microwave beeped loudly and snapped him out of it.

  
**flash** : _thanks, but hard pass._

  
-

  
liz’s party happened, and flash made a point to embarrass peter. at first he felt bad deep down for calling him out about the spiderman lie, but of course it was a lie. once peter stopped giving him that half upset, half defiant look, it got even easier. and easier still when everyone joined in, the whole crowd of shitty teens buzzed on cheap beer chanting “penis parker” with him.

because hey, even if he wasn’t smart enough, people could still enjoy him for at least this. and it felt good to be enjoyed.

  
-

  
it really was an accident. honest to god, gun to his head, it was not on purpose. flash was walking out of the cafeteria, earbuds already in and blasting his music, and as he flung his bag up onto his shoulder, he felt it hit somebody.

of course it was peter. and of course the tray of leftovers and trash in peter’s hands had gotten shaken, the mess falling all down the front of his shirt and onto the floor. people in the area chuckled and groaned sympathetically, and flash desperately needed this moment to end, but god wasn’t so gracious.

“nice one, flash!” some guy yelled.

“watch it, penis parker!” another chimed in.

flash hadn’t really seen peter look this upset. face and ears red, pretty brown eyes cast down to glare at the food on todays nerdy t-shirt. his hands were shaking and the noise of the lunch room was now a muted roar on flash’s ears, because all he could see was that peter’s eyes were starting to get all glassy and big.

“parker, hold on,” flash started, stepping closer. peter looked up and glared, wordlessly pushing his tray at flash before storming away. “parker!”

he abandoned the tray on a table and followed the brunette boy down the hall. peter didn’t say anything and flash truly felt like shit.

“it was an accident, peter, i’m sorry,” flash tried again, and now peter stopped. the brunette turned halfway around to look at his tormentor. “i’m serious.”

“no you’re not,” peter said, voice shaky. “i ha- i hate you, flash. you’re a fucking asshole.”

for the second time, peter turned away from flash and left him in the hallway, alone and hating himself.

  
-

  
flash knew he wasn’t a good person, but for some unknown reason he’d never considered himself a bad person. until today. until pretty hazel eyes, shiny with tears, were glaring at him. until peter’s voice was shaking, and flash heard the pale teen say the word “fuck”, and that he hated flash. he thought peter hating him would make this easier, but it didn’t even help a little bit. 

flash had been called an asshole before of course. random “friends” and just people around, “ _you’re an asshole, flash_ ” while laughing and playfully. he tried to own it now, being a dick, but he did his best to try to be other things too. he tried being smart, but that just wasn’t him.

apparently, this was him. flash thompson, the asshole. the bully. the bad person.

  
-

  
“goodness, oh baby, are you alright?”

flash didn’t even get to answer his mom’s frantic questions before he was pulled into a tight hug. he actually did hug back, reeling with adrenaline after what happened on the washington monument.

the past two days had been a bit of a blur. he studied and studied, used the stupid quizlet thing cindy made, and then peter showed up. last second he announced he could go, and flash was beyond angry that mr. harrison just let him back in, dumping flash back into first alternate. he still tried though, and still got the practice questions wrong on the bus.

the hotel was nice, despite what flash said, and sharing a room with charles wasn’t actually too bad. apparently they both liked family feud and the ramones, so things weren’t looking bad. liz stopped by with cindy and abraham, all clad in swimsuits and carrying assorted snacks, and announced they were going to sneak into the pool. “good for morale” or something that flash definitely wasn’t going to argue with.

and, for no reason at all, flash smacked peter’s ass. peter didn’t end up going to the pool with them (which he would rather die than admit he was disappointed about) and flash swam with the decathlon team, feeling... happy. it was fun.

but the next day, peter never showed up. he was simply nowhere to be found, and even ned confessed he had no clue where his friend ran off to. the contest was tight and flash knew he was sweating like a moron. he even answered a few questions correctly, to everyones surprise (including his own).

yet still, they made it through. michelle knew the winning answer and everybody hug tackled her, even flash.

the washington monument was when things went south, to say the least. flash was holding his trophy proudly and pretending to pay attention to the tour guide telling about the old white guys who made slaves build the tower (or maybe that was just michelle in his head), when the elevator gave a terrifying lurch.

the police or someone, flash was honestly too panicked to notice, helped him and the trophy safely escape. it was terrifying, the helicopters outside and thinking about the few still stuck on the elevator. maybe ned was a loser and liz could seem uptight and mr. harrison was weird, but the thought of them dying made him sick.

he almost thought he was dreaming when the spiderman burst through the window. flash could only process a blur of red as the hero shot down the elevator shaft.

liz was personally grabbed by spiderman and pulled up to safety, and flash thought they were going to kiss for some reason. he barely had time to wonder how kissing an upside down person would work when the spiderman fell.

suddenly overcome with jealousy that a nerd like parker could possibly be friends with someone as cool as spiderman, he carefully hurried to lean over the elevator shaft.

“are you really friends with peter parker?!”

  
-

  
back in his own room two days later, flash stood in baggy pajamas in front of his mirror.

“i’m...” his voice came out as a scratchy whisper. “i’m g–“

again, his voice turned itself off.

_i’m not in a crisis._

“i am...” he tried one more time, swallowing hard. it was only when his eyes moved from the mirror to his socks could he sigh and whisper, “i’m gay.”

it wasn’t a powerful moment of self discovery, or some kind of phenomenal awakening. he had feared it for a while, but recently it was boiling over too much to ignore. not that he was going to stop ignoring it outwardly, because that’s where the fear came from.

when his dad looked at the news and found something he could blame on the queers, or when one of his “friends” said something about the faggot in gym, or when he saw two men holding hands on the subway and the heckling they received from a few strangers.

that wasn’t what flash wanted. he didn’t want this– any of this. not this, not his stupid crush on penis parker, not his reputation for being a bully, not his brain that was smart but not smart enough.

he didn’t know what he wanted besides maybe a drink.

  
—

  
homecoming was painfully uneventful. despite his self awareness, it was not self acceptance, and he took some girl to the dance. he tried to be nice, but in his defense she wasn’t too into it either. it seemed as if both of them had only agreed to “go together” so they didn’t appear dateless.

he was driving to the school from a very awkward and terrible dinner when he was forced to slam on his brakes. spiderman was standing there on the hood of his dad’s audi.

“flash, i need your car and your phone,” the masked man’s voice was rough and honestly a little boyish, but flash was only focusing on the fact that his hero was right there.

“t-technically this- this is m-my dad’s car sir so–“

“flash, just get out!” his date shrilled.

not taking his eyes off spiderman (whose suit looked much different in person than it had in the recent videos), flash nodded and shakily got out of the car. they were at the school anyways so he wouldn’t have to walk too far, and spiderman had to be responsible enough to hopefully return the car—

the car promptly drove through about six parked bikes before swerving around the corner.

  
—

  
flash did pay dearly for the many damages on the car, his dad not believing that spiderman (or as he said, _that guy in tights_ ) stole and wrecked the car.

back in his room after a severe punishment and announcement of his grounding, flash scrolled through instagram. there were multiple pictures of and with the criminal that had been webbed to the side of a school bus, as well as average homecoming pictures. news articles about some guy called the vulture, who was caught by spiderman trying to break into a stark jet. despite the consequences, it was kinda cool thinking that his ~~dads~~ car had a part in helping spiderman do that.

there was a clanging outside his window and the teen jumped, standing slowly and going to grab the baseball bat under his bed. most times it was only ever a very traumatized cat or raccoon, but his mom always told him he could never be too careful.

out on the fire escape landing, there was indeed a fat calico cat. there with it, crouched spiderman, attempting to coax the pet into his arms with snapping and quiet cooing. flash tried not to scream.

“sp-sp- spiderman?” he stuttered, opening the window. “oh my god.”

“flas- flash?” spiderman responded, and flash frowned at the sudden change in the pitch of spidermans voice. “is this your building?”

“th-this is m-my room, yeah,” flash nodded, wincing every time he stuttered. _why are you doing that? you’re flash thompson._

_but this is **spiderman**._

“h-how do you know my name?” he asked. flash couldn’t see spiderman’s face, but he heard a very hesitant intake of breath. “do you really know peter parker?”

the spiderman was frozen for a second before he scooped up the cat and swung off the fire escape without another word. flash wilted a little, standing back to close his window, when the masked man was suddenly hanging upside down from the ledge above him. spider indeed.

“what happened to your face?” spiderman asked, still with the weird scratchy voice. he was pointing at the brand new black eye flash earned for wrecking the car, red finger just inches away from his skin.

“i got hit with a baseball,” flash lied easily. it was buyable for anyone that knew him since he was in sports. flash shifted, waiting for spiderman to take off again, but the hero just stayed there.

“sorry about the car,” spiderman blurted, voice wavering between that hoarse tone and something younger. something much more familiar. “really, i- i wish i could make it up.”

flash shrugged and made an embarrassing noise that was meant to convey both “don’t worry about it” while also “yeah i did get in a lot of trouble for that” and “you’re an avenger, swinging from my fire escape, talking to me for some reason.”

spiderman laughed. a giggle really, muffled and quite honestly adorable. the sound sent shivers up his back, leaving his hands shaking from nervousness and a strange sense of deja vu. spiderman’s shoulders shook when he laughed and flash was a little worried the vigilante would fall.

flash didn’t know what else there was to do or say, so he just stood there. spiderman was still upside down in front of him. he wondered if this was what liz felt like on the monument, which reminded him of his thought that liz and spiderman looked like they were going to kiss, which of course put the idea in flash’s head of kissing the spiderman.

spiderman cleared his throat suddenly. “i gotta go, crimes to stop, cats to save—“

“people to bother on fire escapes?” flash managed to tease, and spiderman huffed indignantly, tilting his head.

“oh, i’m bothering you?”

 _cocky bastard_. flash opened his mouth before it shut automatically, and he swallowed hard. “not- no not really. not at all.”

silence again. spiderman nodded before starting to move back up the building. “see you around, flash.”

“you will?” he blurted stupidly. spiderman chuckled again and righted himself against the metal, shooting his webbing to the opposite building and giving a small wave before swinging away. flash stared out his window long after the red figure disappeared.

  
—

  
leaving the quick decathlon meet up after school on monday, flash ended up having to take the bus home. a bit humiliating with how much he bragged about using his dads car, but flash figured he needed to be humbled a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> truly im not suuuuuper happy with this just bc theres not enough dialogue. like im pissing myself off tbh. next chapters tho!!! thats when it gets interesting i promise. ive never really written such slowburn before and this isnt even THAT slow yet bdbdjdjdj. 
> 
> whatever! hope yall enjoy!! i skipped my third hour and im abt to take a nap rn in 5th soooo yep.
> 
> all comments are VERY appreciated, and lemme know if u see any mistakes!!!!!!!


	3. i wanna feel something again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a princess?

“did you hear?” betty brant said, sitting across from flash at the lunch table. “apparently peter parker is showing around the princess of wakanda today.”

  
  
“oh yeah, and i’m captain america,” flash scoffed.

  
  
he officially decided: junior year he was swearing off peter parker. no crush or bullying. just trying to make it out of this dumb school.

 

“you might just be then,” seymour shot back with raised eyebrows, pointing over at another table. “see for yourself, on your five.”

  
  
flash turned and his jaw promptly dropped, earning giggles from the girls around him. surely enough, penis parker was sitting with a very very beautiful black girl, dressed in clothes more bold and fashionable than these halls had probably ever seen. even mj was actually sitting next to ned and peter to talk to her.

  
  
“son of a bitch,” flash muttered.

  
  
“hot, right?” seymour said, and betty nodded reverently. flash shook his head and focused on his lunch food.

  
  
peter parker was friends with a princess. first liz, now an actual princess? how could he compete with that?

  
  
  
wait, he reminded himself suddenly, there is no competing.  
  


—  


  
with flash’s luck, of course this princess ends up seated beside him in his next class. her eyes narrowed slightly as he walked over to sit at his desk, and he chose to pretend she wasn’t there.  
she made no such choice.

 

  
“you’re flash thompson?” she asked, sounding insultingly underwhelmed. “you’re smaller up close.”

 

  
“excuse me?” he asked incredulously. “you know you’re about five-foot-three, right?”

  
  
she shrugged and rifled through her backpack. ”peter warned me that you were, in his words, kind of a dick. but the way they said you bothered them, i was expecting...”

  
  
“some big blonde white guy with a buzz cut?” flash finished for her, making her snort with a little nod. every single folder in her backpack was a lisa frank, and the yellow kittens with rainbows in the back glared at flash. peter parker had warned shuri about him. “penis parker was talking about me?”

 

  
she raised an eyebrow but didn’t look up from her school work. “why do you care?”

  
  
  
he didn’t respond. because of course he didn’t care. peter wasn’t out of line to say so, he wasn’t even wrong. flash was a dick, simple as that.  
  
  
 

—  
  


 

the quiet humiliation of sitting alone at lunch never seemed to go away. everyone thinks that being isolated at school is just a dramatic theme for movies, or that the person alone is fine doing so, but the feeling flash had now was neither of those- just anxiety. any other day he would’ve driven himself to lunch himself to avoid the cafeteria, but his dad only let him take the car out twice a week now.

  
  
still, he made like it was no big deal, and earbuds were put in and his things were spread out. for all anyone else knew, he needed to sit alone to finish something. nobody had to know that his “friends” had gone to lunch without him. apparently one of them just got a brand new camaro and none of them felt the need to tell flash they were leaving, which confirmed for flash what he still couldn’t bring himself to actually admit, despite how obvious it was.

  
he was actually getting into a groove with his homework when some of his books were shifted. he glanced up, ready to snap at whoever it was to kindly piss off, but he was immediately distracted by an electric blue mini blazer. shuri udaku was giving him a not-really-questioning look that told him she would be sitting at this table whether flash liked it or not.

  
  
“can i help you?” he asked tiredly while she seated herself. he glanced over at peter’s table, where he and his friends were whispering and looking over at shuri, mj on her phone as she undoubtedly texted shuri to leave.

  
“maybe,” she shrugged. “i just thought we could work on homework together. you seem to struggle in areas i could help.”

  
  
“excuse me?”

  
  
  
“i said i’m here to help, dipshit.”  


peter was looking right at him, whispering, and flash wanted to sink into the floor. “look, if this is some sort of prank or way of embarrassing me, then fine. but i’m trying to get work done here and—“

  
  
shuri put a carton of chocolate milk in front of him calmly. “why you’re so hell-bent on rejecting my attempts at friendship, i’m not sure. but this is my last try. so you can let me sit here and do my homework or you can throw a fit and i’ll go sit with my other friends.”

  
  
if flash was being honest with himself, he wanted to “throw a fit.” shuri was new and people were staring at him and how could he be sure that she was telling the truth? that she wasn’t going to tell everyone how pathetic flash thompson really was?

  
  
  
“just sit down,” he grumbled instead, looking back down at his homework.

  
  
she smiled and took a seat. he was a bit surprised to see her working on english assignments, sighing as she wrote in quick answers to the study guide the class had been given on the 1920’s. the great gatsby was their assigned reading and flash couldn’t get into the story or get himself to care about the time period. it was pretty much an awful time to exist unless you were a wealthy white person, so why should he care? alcohol was illegal and women earned the right to vote, then the stock market went to hell and the great depression started. the end.

  
  
“do you need help with that?” she asked, pointing at his uncompleted math homework.  
  
  
“uh–“

  
“if you’ll help me with this, i’ll help you with that,” she offered unexpectedly. “an even trade.”

  
  
he shook his head, hesitated before deciding to actually talk. “i wish, but i’m shit in english. like, legally shit.”

  
  
shuri exhaled a small laugh from her nose, though it was quickly followed with a groan. “american literature, specifically from any time before the 80’s, is incredibly inaccurate.”

  
  
  
“sure feels like it, everything that’s popular only focuses on white people,” flash agreed. “even the stuff about people of color has too much focus on white people’s responses and feelings.”

  
  
“the heterosexuality isn’t much entertaining, either.”

  
  
he inhaled sharply but said nothing, still looking at his paper.

  
  
when the bell rang, shuri packed her things away but waited for flash to finish putting his own papers away before standing.

  
  
  
“text me if you need help on math homework,” she told him, scribbling her number on a sticky note with a pink pen. “try to do some of the english homework.”  


 -  


 

flash whooped when he saw the contact appear on his phone, grateful for the new york traffic letting him pick up the call immediately.  


“hey, cec!”

  
  
“hey eugene,” his sister chirped back.

  
  
“don’t-“

  
  
“fuck you, i’m not calling you flash,” she laughed. he laughed back and shook his head. “it’s a high school nickname, you’re gonna have to come up with a better one soon.”

  
  
“whatever,” he dismissed. “what’s up? you okay?”

  
  
“yeah, i just wanted to say hey. i saw some kid who looked like you and i just, y’know, yeah.”

  
  
“aww, how sweet,” flash mocked, though he meant it. they hadn’t spoken on the phone since his birthday, only occasionally texting. “what have you and jess been up to?”

  
  
“having sex,” celia snorted when flash gagged in disgust. “we had to get rid of our most recent cat, gave her to a friend of ours. we’re down to two now.”

 

“what happened?”

  
  
“well,” she dragged out the word, sing song and promising. “we’re trying to adopt. a baby, i mean. not another cat.”

 

flash choked on his water, nearly dropping his phone as he coughed. “that’s– that’s amazing!”

  
  
“i know!” she squealed. “we’re working on sprucing up the apartment, making a room and everything. jessie’s parents are so sweet, they’re helping us out a ton.”

  
  
there was a beat of uncomfortable silence before flash cleared his throat. “so i guess you won’t be coming up to visit any time soon?”

  
  
she sighed and he already knew the answer. “probably not, eugene. i can’t take off work because we really need the money right now and flying out there and getting a hotel would just–“

  
  
“yeah, i get it,” he snapped.

  
  
“oh don’t get mad at me now–“

  
  
“i am mad, celia,” he tried not to shout, pulling into the parking garage of his building. he parked the car but didn’t leave yet, not wanting to cause a scene by his dad hearing who he was on the phone with. “you- you should get it. i can’t stand it here, he’s—“

 

“how ‘bout i fly you out here for my birthday, okay?” she interrupted quickly. he cut himself off and she continued. “i’ll talk to rose about it, i’ll pay for the flight and you can stay a whole weekend.”

  
  
he decided not to comment on her refusal to just call their mother “mom,” and instead just turned his car off. “yeah, that’d be nice, i guess. i just- i just don’t know how much longer i can take this, cec.”

 

“you’ll be fine” she promised. he internalized his sigh. “okay i’ll let you go, but be texting me, alright?”

 

“yeah. bye cec.”

  
  
“bye, flash.”

 

  
  
back up in his room later, he thought about how fucked it all was. how much more he wished he could say to his sister– tell her that it’s harder for him because she was smarter than him in school, how she had ruined him for his parents because if they practically disowned her for being gay they would kill him because two queer kids would be too much shame for their father to handle. remind her that he didn’t have a girlfriend, boyfriend, or even a best friend he could run away to like she had done most nights.

  
  
however, he did his best to dispel the anger. celia would turn 26 in november, only four months away. resentment aside, he could make it that long for her.

  
probably.

  
  
-

 

two days later, flash got a text from shuri asking if he wanted to do homework at lunch again. she had kept on her ~~threat~~ promise of friendship, talking to him in classes and nodding at him in the halls. betty asked if they “had a thing” and because flash had excellent self preservation skills, he said no. he wasn’t planning on coming out but he also sure as hell wasn’t going to entertain rumors about heterosexuality. not to mention if it got back to shuri she would probably shoot him on sight.

  
**i** **SHURI** **hope** **it** **does** : i found a quizlet with our entire great gatsby study guide on it 😫💯✊🤑

  
  
**(turn off the) flash** **you** **fucking** **moron** : oh word? nice. also i did the math homework but can you grade it because i know i did it all wrong

  
**i** **SHURI** **hope** **it** **does** : yeah probably lmfao see you at lunch

 

  
peter, mj, and ned still shook their heads and shrugged when shuri told them where she was going for lunch, but she just smiled and walked over to flash. they got to work fairly quickly, sharing the damp school fries and passing papers back and forth.

 

“so flash, what do you wanna do with your life?” shuri asked, eyes squinted in mock judgement.

  
  
flash shook his head and shrugged, erasing the spider he doodled on the margins of his math homework. “don’t know yet. maybe i’ll just quit school, move to colorado. become a ski instructor.”

  
  
it was quiet for a second before shuri snorted and dissolved into a fit of laughter. flash raised an eyebrow and looked up to see if she was serious, and his smile grew into chuckles. soon enough they were both wheezing and attracting weird looks from high schoolers around them.

 

”you really were all talk,” shuri huffed once she stopped laughing.

 

he hesitated then, raising an eyebrow. “oh? and what’s that supposed to mean?”

  
  
“you’re funny, smart enough i guess,” she drawled, smirking when he scoffed. “dunno why people think you’re a bully. look at you.”

  
  
“that’s the second time you’ve dismissed my personality and reputation due to my appearance,” he quipped. “if i didn’t know better i’d say it’s a bit racist.”

  
  
she laughed again, shaking her head. “shut the hell up.”

 

 

-  


 

flash and shuri were eating their lunch in the stairwell today, books open and ignored in favor of the burger king they’d postmated to the school. each in a burger king crown in the absence of peers, of course. conversation was strangely easy with shuri, something flash wasn’t used to. betty was alright but she was always texting liz and everyone else was just too boring.

 

“what are you doing in new york anyway?” flash asked. “i don’t think you ever explained.”

 

“working on a wakandan international outreach program,” she stated proudly. “nakia is doing social work in the- i believe she calls them projects?- whatever, i help with running the technology. t’challa wants me to study here, and sometimes i work with tony stark.”

 

“okay flex i guess,” flash deadpanned, prompting a playful elbow in the ribs. unable to help himself, he asked what he’d been wondering since she first told him she occasionally met other avengers through her brother. “do you know spiderman?”

 

she hummed, thinking on it as she sipped her drink. there was a twinkle in her eyes that flash failed to notice. “yeah actually. he’s not bad, dorkier than you would expect though. he’s not my type but he’s a sweetheart.”

 

“ _not my type_ , you’re a lesbian, shuri,” flash teased. he pretended to read over his assignment as an excuse to avert his eyes before he asked, “what does he look like?”

 

“i’m not telling you who spiderman is.”

 

“that’s not what i asked!” he backtracked at her cold tone. “but is he like… come on i mean is he _cute_?”

 

the word hung in the air and bounced off the walls of the stairwell, and flash really wished shuri would laugh. the silence was too knowing.

 

“oh he’s adorable,” she drawled carefully, putting emphasis and attention into every syllable, and flash already regretting saying anything. “totally your type.”

 

“okay listen to me–“

 

“is that the whole thing, flash? i know this place is no wakanda, and i don’t know how your family might be, but—“

 

“please, shuri,” he interrupted her desperately. “you can’t tell anyone. i’ve never- nobody, literally nobody knows. i didn’t even mean to tell you. it’s a personal thing, okay? i just need you to…”

 

she nudged him with her elbow, gentle this time, a gesture of friendship. “relax, thompson. i won’t tell anyone that you’re…?”

 

“gay,” he finished. unexpectedly, it lifted a weight off his chest. like finally breathing in after being underwater for almost too long. “crazy. you’re really the first person i’ve ever told.”

 

“i’m honored,” she grinned. “seriously. i won’t tell anyone. and i’ll start setting you up with the spider boy.”

 

“fuck you,” flash laughed, the burger king crown nearly falling off his head. as shuri tutted and reached to fix it for him, it occurred to him that in just two weeks, she was probably his best friend. as sad or strange as he could find it, he was just grateful. “are we ever actually gonna do any of this homework?”

 

“eventually,” she groaned. the bell rang and she stood, bidding him goodbye and leaving to walk the halls in her burger king crown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello lgbt community, It’s Back.
> 
> IGNORE THE WEIRD PARAGRAPH SPACING JM SORRY IT GOES WONKY WHENEVER I COPY N PASTE IT FROM GOOGLE DOCS UUUGGHHHHH  
>  
> 
> eeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! the far from home trailer really brought back some peterflash feelings, and im already noticing more shippers/content so here i am :) ive been throwing in bits and pieces of this for a while so here it is all cleaned up!!
> 
> anyways, SHURI IS HEEEEERE i dont care about canon :)) takes place before far from home and idk how im gonna handle infinity war (if i include it) so we’ll just see. anyways...... i love shuri so much. 
> 
> sorry there wasnt much actual peter/flash in this chapter but i swear we’ll get there! just wanted to show yall more of flashs relationships. i love celia thompson i totally made her up but shes a dyke amd i love her. the dialogue feels lazy to write but its literally how my friends and i talk?? it just feels weird going from like flashs angsty ass thoughts to how teenagers actually speak lmfaoo. 
> 
> also idk if yall could tell but im reading the great gatsby in my english class rn and why does nobody talk about how gay nick was for jay??? hello??
> 
> as usual, all comments (critiques included) are VERY welcomed. i try to proofread my own stuff for mistakes but i tend to miss things so just lemme know :)


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